Dealing With Things Awkward and Fake-ly Sentimental

(This post is from my other blog. I just want to share it here...)

I look at you from the corner of my eye as you talk to one of our mutual friends, or maybe she wasn't your friend, neither do I know if she is mine, so let's just say that she's one of our "mutual acquaintances". The reason why I cannot look at you head-on was because of a certain "misunderstanding". On my part it may have been, but you must've taken it more seriously than I ever did, so the reason why we don't talk anymore.

We were never close. We talk and laugh at what others are saying but never just between the two of us. In the very beginning, everything was painted with awkwardness. One way or another, I've become plastic by making sure I do not get in your bad side but I guess that was one of the main reasons why we never had a decent friendship. It could've been that way but now, it might never be.


I'm not saying at the very least that I don't want to talk to you anymore. What I'm bluntly saying is that we might never end up as friends. We can become civil, knowing that we will never like each other. It's much easier that way, at least we won't end up hurting each others feelings.

To deal with such awkward situations is never my forte because at the very beginning, I am very awkward myself. So the only solution is to look at you from a far and somehow contemplate of what I ever did wrong, though I believe that I really didn't do squat . I am never the fixer. I would admit to my mistakes (or even mistakes that I never did not know zip about) and just suck it up. I hate failing friendships but if the situation calls for it and it is never meant to work out, then I guess that's just how the balloon pops.

If this person ever does read this I wanna say, I'm sorry and don't be fooled by the title by the end. Coz I'm not faking the sentimentality. It is sad that we might never get along again but at least accept my apology...