Monday, May 23, 2016

Misfit Talks: Yeah, Hi

I've been gone forever, haven't I? I know. The funny thing is, I don't even know how to come back to my blog after a month or two of just ignoring it. Mainly, it wasn't laziness. I did think of blogging and also coz I have like millions of features I had to publish and the promise to blog over the weekend, but my body just wouldn't allow me and probably also my heart.

I was going through something. Early March, I found out a dear friend had passed and while I wasn't thinking that it would affect me in a way or  would lead me into a whirlpool of feelings, it did. While I did not have the urge to die (like I always do), I was thinking about what if my friends left me and all that horrible, dark stuff. Yup, I entered that blanket of depression again. It's an on and off thing I tell you. And while this time and I did tell my parents that it had this impact on me in a way, I still felt like doing nothing. I had no energy to blog. I'd rather stay at home, play games and watch anime and kinda cut off from actually talking to my friends and just stay in my room, become a NEET and probably rot around four walls. Then there's also the frustration of school which I'm not gonna go into full detail because I really rather not. I'd rather slice myself in half.

I kinda feel like Dazai Osamu's main character, Ouba Youzo, in No Longer Human for quite a while and maybe even now but I do miss blogging, honestly, and I miss my blogging and author friends.

While I do miss blogging, I found myself a job, which is also the reason I've been so away from a lot of my social media stuff since I was taking care of stuff for it in the past couple of weeks and of course starting work. It's not a permanent job yet but it pays and I can use it for school and also to pay for my own expenses now. #INDEPENDENT 

I will have to catch up on all the posts I have, coz I have like 1000 features on hold. Yeah, makes me want to hire help or clone myself but either way, I will find the energy and time, hopefully. 

Yeah, hi. I'm back...

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